My Winding Course

"Nothing is constant, only changes are constant", "Nothing is permanent except change", "Things do not change, we change", "Everything changes but change" - These are some famous quotes on "Changes". I was recently reminiscing how much my thoughts and approaches have changed over time. I could relate my recent doings to something I did years ago, but I see a lot of difference between the both. This is not Deja vu. It's all about approaching people and problems in a new way, a positive way, a way that is well-reasoned out. There is no hit-the-wall situation here, it gets better and better over years, and which is why it is said "With age comes wisdom". May be I am turning wise, less because I am getting more sensible and more because my hair is turning gray! What did you think, I will pull myself into a quagmire-discussion???!!!

I was recently talking to a friend of mine about "Enlightenment", not the one Buddha got! Its the earthly, human "Enlightenment" that I am talking about. There are few situations that eked out in a gesture of pride in myself. Those are moments when I felt that a particular problem couldn't have been dealt so meticulously as the way I did! Though such moments are sparse, I believe practicing mindfulness can bring such moments in tandem. Most of us have floundered, stayed afloat and finally are ashore in many aspects of life. I believe reaching the shore is all about how balanced we are to stick neck out and breath, and at the same time swim continuously. Initially, I thought life is all about gaining one thing and losing the other. Rather, it was reinforced that sacrifices need to be made for achievements to be conquered. This notion started breaking slowly by strong forces, the forces in form of responsibilities that demand me to play multiple roles, the roles that I have taken up and are responsible for! Then I realized a strong shift from practicing Trade-off to adapting to Optimization. Unbelievably, the task that was once considered impossible started becoming possible. Loads of tears, hard work, debacles, self-empathy, unjustifiable expectations and humiliations went into initiating such a shift. Plimsoll lines disappeared, whimpers vanished, and whining was unheard! Aghast, there is this new me! I realized life is all about "Of the people whom you love, for the people whom you love and by the people whom you love", and it's also about my "Shaping profession"! Life is at its best when it is reformatted: "Of the people who love you, for the people who love you and by the people who love you". Does the rhyming above sound familiar? Its Lord Rippon's quote on democracy "Of the people, for the people and by the people". This is not plagiarism you know, I changed it and used it under a different connotation!!

Few strategies I crafted, and consciously adapted to in due course:

1. Just not to holler on top of my voice. This happened not because someone gave me serious advice, but because my throat hurts. Not because I am still not in my 20s, but because I am being tempted to scream very often, and hence the frequency of such mindless screamings increases, leading to a painful throat.

2. Becoming adept at switching between two tasks, and becoming deeply involved in each of those tasks after the switch occurs. I learned this from the natives of this country. I highly regard this aspect, and I found it useful when I started thinking of launching my Career: The second innings!

3. No negative thoughts! I have got to make a confession here: When I see life blooming for others, I use to feel "When is that wisteria going to bloom over my roof?" I am happy for others, but kind of impatient until I reach there. A beautiful house, a fancy car, and frequent vacations are not the ones I am talking about, for I know life is all about something beyond these. It's the slightest fear that comes in asking me "Sharmila, aren't you dreaming big, will you be able to make it?" For me, that is frightening! I wanted to get rid of that fear. Now, when you see me the next time, don't give me that snidey look! After all, everyone has got confessions to make!

4. I believed that I can do anything if I organized myself. I can cook a full-course meal for all of us in the morning, do some exercise and meditation, allocate an only-me time, do justice to my work and my employer (A very sophisticated way of saying "I am sincere to my profession", but you see, I am filling my blog with this post during office hours, but remember, "Exceptions prove the rule"), appease my little ones when they go wild (Trust me, during my bad times, the planets revolving over my head can be appeased more easily than it is with my kids).

5. I practiced to remain quiet when attending group gatherings. Quiet means not keeping numb, but quieter that usual. Hold on, Hold on..... I still haven't got there, but I am on my way, close to where I started! Don't make underestimations now, I can show some exponential growth here!!! When I practiced, people started asking me "Why are you dull Sharmila?"... All my enthusiasm annuls. Hang on till you meet me next time!

6. In God I trust. I categorize events into two types: The ones upon which I have complete control, with a touch of god, and the ones upon which God has complete control, with a touch of mine. I do my ("the") best, be pro-active in my endeavors, relentlessly be behind something I love and worship, and leave the rest to God! His touch is always there in anything I do. It took me some time to work on this aspect.

7. Promised myself that infirmity will not take me over at any time.

8. When life gives you lemons, have the guts to make a lemonade and chill out.

9. Learn lessons from mistakes. Don't forget lessons, and don't repeat mistakes.

A disclaimer: Terms and conditions may not apply under extreme situations, and such situations are designated "extreme" in a context-specific and person-specific manner.

It took a long time for me to incorporate all these practices, and I am yet to learn and practice many things. There is a saying in Tamil, "கற்றது கை மண்ணளவு,  கல்லாதது உலகளவு". It is "What you have known is just a fistful, and what you are seeking to learn is as huge as this world". I believe there are no exceptional beings to whom this doesn't hold true!